I got the lazy blood and bones.

I'm sorry for the hiatus. Looks like I'm gonna win title of Sporadic Blogger of 2012. I must apologise for my last post quoting Haddaway's classic "What is love". It's a story I can't explain and it was moment of silliness with friends. On a side note, that song was one of my favourites when I was a kid. It'd put it on full blast when I was home alone and dance around the living room.

Although considering I was only like 8 at the time I doubt I was actually on my own and the whole playing it full blast was probably a figment of my childhood imagination.

Other songs that featured were 'Black or White' by Michael Jackson, 'Crocodile Rock' by Elton John, 'Scatman' by, um Scatman? And every Spice Girls song.

The plan over the next week is to update you of all my happenings since my last real blog post on 3rd Dec, which is a lot. So it'll probably take a while.

But with out further ado... I present :

Los Angeles: 

Part One - Discovering Venice.

I was so excited to go to LA. I watch TV, LA is amazing right? And it's just like 90210, right?

It's all good, I'll rock up and hang out at Offshore, run into Silver and the crew and we'll have a whale of a time.

Nope. Wrong. I spent the majority of time in LA feeling a little bit lost, freaked out or scared. Or a combo of the three. By the end of my three day stay I was fearing for my life, but we'll get to that later.

I feel the need to put a disclaimer out there, I'm not saying LA is a terrible place. I just didn't have the best of experiences. I'm sure if I'd gone in different circumstances, more prepared and with more time and money, I'd probably have loved it.

Oh, and I really didn't expect LA to be like the movies/90210. I'm not THAT naive. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan. It was a sunny December morning. My plan was to get the bus to the hostel in the Venice. When I booked the hostel I thought it had an airport shuttle. I was wrong. That was my first mistake. So public transit it was then! Simple right? Nope. Not at all. Managing to get off the bus at the right stop to get onto the next bus was lucky and fancy guess work. I was getting some really strange looks on the bus as well, I guess people don't often get on a bus from the airport with luggage. When I got off my second bus the driver asked me if I had just been kicked out. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to be offended...? I offered a polite laugh. He asked sympathetically whether I had a place to stay that night.  I told him I was on holiday and I was on the way to my hostel. He laughed and wished me a pleasant stay in LA.

Yeah, Welcome to LA. You may well have just got off a 12 hour flight but we all think you're a hobo with that backpack.

After twenty minutes of looking for the hostel I finally found it and discovered I'd walked past the entrance at least four times. Why the hostel doesn't invest in a sign I don't know. Once I've settled in and let the Facebook world know that I'm somewhere marginally cooler than wherever they are, I set off to explore the famous Venice Beach.

Venice Beach is one of those places you just recognise from movies. The place is mental. There's street performers everywhere. Some good, some not so good. Guy who can jump over seven people? Good. Old man in tiny shorts, dancing on glass? Not so good. I started my stroll towards the skateboard park. This guy starts talking to me about the weather. He notices my accent and starts telling me all the local places that have appeared in movies. He then offers to take me to a bar which appeared in some film. I decline telling him I've already got plans. The real reason for me declining was that he was waaay creepy and I'm pretty sure he was older than my dad.

I think the dude I saw in a gold thong with masses of ghetto gold chains around his neck really summed up the Venice Beach crowd. Unfortunately I was not brave enough to steal a picture. But it doesn't matter, that image unfortunately is ingrained on my retina. No escaping it.

After walking the length of Venice Beach and declining every marijuana salesman, I decided that I needed a change of scenery.  So I hopped on a bus to Santa Monica. I alighted at the Main Street as it looked pretty busy and Christmassy. I forgot that it was winter in LA (despite it being warm) and well, it gets dark pretty early which kind of put a dampener of the sightseeing but no biggie, it made it oh so more Christmassy.

There was some kinda special event going on as there were so many carolers about and every shop was giving customers food and drinks. Pretty nice. America goes hard out on the Christmas decorations and there were tress every where. One even made out of shopping trolleys. I loved the carolers that were dressed in Victorian costumes!

Other activities in Santa Monica included checking the famous Santa Monica Pier out. It's the pier which features in Forrest Gump and is home the Bubba Gump restaurant and also the fair ground Pacific Park.

After consoling my map I headed to the shopping centre and got lost in Bloomingdales ("My mom calls it Bloomy's!") and got half bullied into buying a Benefit foundation. I also went on the hunt for a pair of Spanx, which is, if you didn't already know, a vital piece of underwear for bridesmaids. I don't mind telling you this piece of information as it's kinda integral to the story. Got chatting to the sales woman, I was the first customer she had ever served as it was only her second day. This may also seem like useless information, but again integral to the story.

After browsing in many shops and wishing I could buy everything, it was getting late and time to head back to the hostel. Boarded the bus with the crazy driver (is there any other type). Half way  through the journey the driver did a sharp brake and all my stuff went flying down the bus. The woman sat in front of me helps pick my stuff up, looks at me and says  announces rather loudly to the whole bus "HEY I SOLD YOU A PAIR OF SPANX!!". Um, yes you did, thanks for the discretion. Got chatting to the girl and she was actually really lovely. She lived near the hostel so was able to help me find the stop and it's always good to have a comrade during life threatening bus journeys.

And that was the end of day one.

P.S. I had to stop myself quoting more Miley Cyrus than that one line. It's a party in the USA afterall...